Overcoming Binge-Eating/Over-Exercising/Over-Restricting as a Wellness Professional

Well guys I have to tell you that my weight has been a huge barriers for me moving forward in my career. I've held this belief that when I am thin enough I will be able to be successful and until then no one will take me seriously. This isn't where my issues with food and body image began, but this is where things came to a head for me.

Ever since I can remember I have enjoyed eating. I eat when I'm happy, mad, sad, tired, and bored. I eat to stuff feelings and to avoid life. Of all the things that I have used to get outside of myself in my lifetime, food has been the most consistent and most abused, and the easiest to brush under the rug.

I have tried desperately to hide this eating disorder from myself and others. I did not really understand that it was a real problem. I thought I just had no self-control. After all we usually here about anorexia and bulimia as disordered eating and the mention of binge-eating doesn't get talked about that much despite the population having an epidemic of overweight people. I also believed that my over-restrictive dieting and over-exercising, along with the temporary weight loss that I achieved were things to be proud of and not being able to sustain those lifestyles was due to my laziness and inconsistency. In reality they were also part of the disorder, B.E.D..

Mind you I have a B.S. in Health and Wellness that I completed way back in 2012. I have a P.B.C. in Health and Wellness Coaching that I finished in December of 2017 and I am currently working on My M.A. in Health and Wellness Coaching. All of these years I have been hustling for my worth, as Brene Brown calls it. I have lost and gained the same 80 pounds too many times to count. I have been waiting for the day that I will be "good enough" to be a "real" wellness coach. These are crazy ideas that I somehow adopted as true.

In realizing my eating disorder for what it is and all that it encompasses earlier this year, I stopped swinging back and forth on the pendulum of overeating and excessive exercise and dieting. I gained a considerable amount of weight as I felt stuck and hopeless, not knowing how to move forward without overdoing it. I struggled with all the wasted time and all my attempts to become good enough through rigid eating and exercise programs that I tried to perfect and constantly felt that I failed. These were not sustainable solutions and not a healthy way to live.

I write this today to get honest and vulnerable. I don't want to hide anymore. I also believe these experiences have served my role as a coach. I can take what I have learned through trial and error and years of feeling not good enough and use it to be compassionate in my work with others. I am not alone in struggling with the idea that what I look like is what decides my worth. I can help others create sustainable change in their lives rather than trying to overdue things and rush to an imaginary finish line.

Wellness encompasses so much more that our size. It has to do with the thoughts we think, the way we speak to ourselves, how we nourish our mind, body, and soul with the food we eat, way we move our bodies, who we let into our lives, the environment we live in, and how we make money and/or live out our passions. And that is just a few examples. Health and wellness touches every area of our lives. For me, I'm working on this type of wellness now and not some quick fix weight loss scheme. I am not willing to hustle for my worth any more and I hope that by being honest about my struggles in this area I invite others to do the same and we can help each other along the way.