Stop Hustling for Your Worth

I love reading and Brene Brown books always grab my attention and speak to my core. She writes about hustling for our worth and reading her words on this matter did exactly that. For whatever reason I have spent my life believing that I had to become good enough to deserve things. I have looked at others who seem to know they are already good enough and felt that they had something I was missing. After all, look at them out there just living their dreams and not giving a shit if it bothers anyone! lol

It doesn't matter how many classes I take or degrees I earn, I have been stalling at fully giving myself over to following my passions and dreams. It's like I am waiting for permission or a sudden knowing that I am finally worthy. The crazy part of this is that we are all worthy right now just as we are so this is an entirely imaginary problem. An imaginary problem that has kept me hiding in the shadows and hustling for my worth all these years.

Instead of being courageous and stepping into the live that I truly desire living I have been in conflict with myself as I work jobs to make ends meet when I have a calling. Something that sets my soul on fire and invigorates me every time that I have the opportunity to practice my skills and connect with another on a deep level where we focus on what they truly desire. See I have put my toes in the water over the years and made strides forward, but I tend to take a step back into hiding again after each step closer to my vision for my life.

Even when I am in the process of living my dream life in increments like this, I am faced with another of my self-worth issues, asking for money for my services. I still find myself so grateful to work with other people that I don't like to ask for what I'm worth. I just love helping people and know that in turn I receive from the experience of two soul connecting in a vulnerable and compassionate way. Problem here is getting an education hasn't been free and I have devoted a large portion of my life to my training. So not asking for my worth makes no real sense here. It's just another imaginary issue. I have been easing myself into small incremental price raises for my services. As though easing into it will make it easier.

I guess that I am writing this today to show that even when one has taken class after class and received degrees there can be entirely separate issues that come up. I write this to show my own struggle in hopes that it let's someone else know they aren't alone and that there is a way out, it just happens to be straight through and not around. Instead of hustling for my worth I intend to be vulnerable and honest. That way my "people' can find me. Not that we are separate, there are just certain people who speak our language.