Being Gentle with Ourselves

It's very easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of life and berate ourselves when we fall short. We may also expect ourselves to be able to always move through life at the same full-steam ahead speed no matter what circumstances of life come our way. This post is a reminder to myself and all of you who read it that it's okay to slow down for a period. There are times in life that call for rest. There are times in life that effect our ability to complete tasks at our typical speed. In the past I have thought negatively about myself for not being able to consistently accomplish things at the same rate. I've looked at this pattern as a short-coming of some sort when in actuality it is a natural rhythm of life.

I have often guessed at what is normal, not that there is such a thing, and find that I created some unrealistic and unattainable concept of what that is. Perfectionism sneaks in here and that perhaps is where the dissatisfaction with self comes when I cannot maintain some super-speed of doing that I have deemed good enough. This is something that I made up in my mind and I use to measure my self-worth. This construct is completely fictional and yet I can use it to beat myself over the head and feel inadequate. I have a feeling that I'm not alone in this habit.

Recently I was able to be gentle with myself and let go of these crazy self-imposed expectations. I took a week to feel my feelings and just be. I wasn't obsessed with doing or achieving. I just existed and followed my desire to go within and honor my need to stop forcing results. My house got a little messy. I didn't go to the gym. I slept more than normal and watched a good amount of television. The kicker is, the world didn't end. I felt better after taking this break and felt renewed. Instead of feeling like a failure I feel like this was huge for me. I allowed myself to stop being a human doing and was a human being instead. I felt my feelings fully instead of pushing them aside in pursuit of achievement and a desire to try and be good enough. The reality is we are always good enough. We are good enough because we exist. I felt better the past few days and cleaned the mess that accumulated and got clear about what I would like to accomplish in the next week. I have no doubt that I feel better than I would have if I had forced myself to try and continue at my normal speed. And I feel so much better than I would have if I had been impatient with myself and was cracking the whip.

It's okay to rest. It's okay to slow down. It's okay to honor yourself and to be gentle.